The Artists...
Joe...
The Drummer. Joe likes to rock hard while he's rockin. None of that
wimpy shit you hear other bands like "Wimptallica" doing. Joe has a
soft side though. He enjoys long walks on the moon, candle lit sex
marathons with scandalous young women high on life and even keeping
warm with a nice glass of red drink by the trash can fire.
(Red Drink is a registered trademark of the
Colored Drink Corporate Incorporated Corporation LLC. and is not
necessarily endorsed by the kick ass band members of Signal Forty.)
Yep Joe really knows how to live the good life when he's not poundin
out the beat like that loveable animal from those trippy Muppet
shows.
Andy...
Lead Singer and Rhythm Guitar. Andy has a hedonistic approach to
making music. "Make sure it fuckin rocks." (I
swear, that's what I heard him say once.) He enjoys the
occasional cup of hot cocoa and a warm vag just like anyone else
would, but he takes his with a shot of crazy and a side of
peppercorn dressing. After rockin it all night long on stage he
really gets his kicks by swimming nude with some groupies in shark
infested waters. (Damn lawyers always following
you around when you try to swim nude with your groupies.)
Sometimes we wonder which country Andy's really from. Is is the
United States of Rocktopia, the place where are kick ass rockers are
born, or is he from somewhere else. Like Spitzerland.
Kris...
Bassist and Keyboard Jockey. (Kris is not a
girls name, I don't know why its spelled with a K and please stop
asking.) Kris should be fat, because his bass licks are so
heavy. This dude plays guitar like Barry White eats corn during a
drive-by... low and scared to stand up for fear of being shot.
That's a good thing. The Police, who had mild success as a so called
"rock band", asked Kris to be their bassist at one time. Of course he
turned them down to be in the much more kick ass band, Signal Forty.
What ever happened to The Police you ask? They hired some joker of a
bass player named Sting and ended up being a one hit wonder. I think
they still play at Chuck-e-cheeses for kids birthday party's or
something like that. Sucks to be them.
Number 4...
Lead and Rhythm Guitar. Number 4 has an actual name, but no one can
pronounce it right so we just call him 4. Hell, I cant even spell it
right. You would think 4 might help out by saying "hey dumb asses
you say it like this..." and then tell us, but 4 doesn't speak. He
was in a tragic bicycle accident when he was 12 years old and he saw
his friend get an ouchy on his knee. 4 hasn't spoken a word since.
We tried to get him help but he keeps stabbing
the councilors to death. Um... I mean he showers them with
love. It's hard to keep finding new places to bury the
dead bodies love. We just gave up. 4
still rocks though. He plays the guitar like his fingers are on fire
and his balls are in a vice. Fast is what that comes down to.